Tiny Kindnesses

The World is filled with them. Do not overlook them. They are precious gifts. In that regard, they are perpetual.

Photo by Mei-Ling Mirow on Unsplash

Try as I might to stay just below the radar, I have been acknowledged as a fellow human traveler by many people in the past few weeks. Knowingly or unknowingly they positively affected the trajectory of my life with their tiny kindnesses. They added comfort to my journey.

I suspect for most of them their kindnesses are not events - they are lifestyle issues. I saw their kindness because I paused to observe and listen - because I did not hurry.

A tired-looking professional behind the counter at an airport rental car kiosk took the initiative to give me a complimentary upgrade to a larger car. Though she may have been speaking about herself she said she thought I might like to travel in a more comfortable vehicle.

When I told her I hadn’t eaten all day a Flight Attendant gave me three extra bags of pretzels and an entire can of cola, smiled, then, not waiting to be thanked, she went on her way up the aisle.

Participants from across the Mid-West listened to me in weeklong workshops though they may not have agreed with everything I was saying in front of the room. They took notes. They politely asked questions and said, “Thank you,” even when my answer was, “I don’t know.” They called me, “sir.”

“Is there a laundromat near here?” I asked the lady at the front desk of a small motel where I stayed in Kansas. “We have one right here,” she said. “Great! Does it take credit cards?” “No,” she responded, “only quarters.” “Is there an ATM close to here so I can get actual money?” I asked. “No, but, here,” she said, reaching into a drawer beneath the counter - “take this roll of quarters. It’s only ten bucks; you can pay me back sometime.”

On an aircraft in Decatur, Illinois a toddler clung to her father’s neck, shyly peered over his shoulder, smiled, and gave me a toddler-sized thumbs up.

An internationally revered, profoundly human fellow traveler, Dr. Temple Grandin, sat beside me at O’Hare in Chicago, graciously asked about my family, and then participated in a video call with my wife.

A world-renowned scientist beside me on a flight from Denver to Tucson enthusiastically asked about my family, proudly told me about his grown children, and trustingly confided in me about how he is coping with the immeasurable hole in his soul since his beloved wife passed away.

An old cowboy, his dentures click-clacking like an ancient telegraph machine, told me he liked my boots because they are simple. He then informed me that gaudy boots, string ties, pearl-buttoned shirts, Stetson hats, and outsized belt buckles deeply embarrass horses and amuse cattle. He went on to say that he and real horses and true cows think such humans are cartoonish and not to be taken seriously. He made me smile. How does one go on without being indebted to a guy like that?

A Chief of Police introduced me to his City Council in a public meeting - and those Council members allowed me - a stranger - to speak to them about creating the future.

The next day the Mayor bought me - a stranger - lunch.

A cousin took time to drive me around our old neighborhoods and shared his memories of our childhood. He asked nothing of me, giving freely of his time, his memories, and his hopes for our young son. He bought me sushi and we laughed.

Another cousin also took time to share her memories of when we were children. She asked nothing of me, instead, she told me she loves me and that I need to be safe in my travels. She blushed when I told her that she is beautiful.

A shuttle bus driver stepped off the bus, took my bag, and stowed it - smiling all the while.

A waitress at the Texas Roadhouse in Joplin, Missouri, asked me where I live then told me about her dream to finish her degree in accounting, travel the world, and then, maybe, settle down somewhere with better weather than Missouri.

A retired Major General called me just to say hello. He listened to my latest stories of the road and told me about his day.

Upon returning to Tucson, a checker at our local grocery store said, “I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?” When I told her I had been working out of town for a couple of weeks she said, “Welcome home!”

“Welcome home.” Such a kind thought. Everyone needs to hear that. “Welcome home.”

I am better for being shaped by the kindness I receive from and witness in others.

Some say kindness is a weakness.

I have learned such folks are fearful - afraid of appearing vulnerable - and therefore as deserving of kindness as anyone. Perhaps they can use the kind energy we show and send them to overcome their fears. I think it would make it easier for them if they were surrounded by kindness instead of fear.

Kindness is not a weakness. Kindness is the ultimate moral obligation in all relationships and the glue that holds together civilizations.

We must all be students of kindness. We must not overlook the tiny ones while hoping for the large ones.

We must extend our kindness. Doing so changes our path and influences the trajectories of others.

We must exemplify kindness in tiny ways whether others accept the lessons or not.

We must be alert to learn from the kindness of others and generously pass even the tiniest of them along - propelling them in a hail of joy to mingle with the ancient stream of human triumphs and disappointments.

I believe that in that manner we - and our souls - approach immortality.

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