The "Big Why"
Why Humans Need to Be Part of Something Bigger
If you ask a winning sports team what keeps them going, they won’t just say “money” or “fame.” They will tell you about their mission to win the championship together. This is what some have called the “Big Why.”*
The Big Why is the main purpose or objective that guides our lives. Scientists and psychologists have noted that humans have a built-in need to belong to something larger than themselves. Without a big purpose, people tend to feel lost, stressed, and disconnected. Whether that space is filled by a religion, a big group of friends, a focus on an organization’s mission, or a community cause, we are hardwired to look outside of ourselves for meaning.
Wired to Work Together
Long ago, our ancestors lived in wild, dangerous environments. Back then, a human trying to survive completely alone wouldn’t last very long. To survive, people had to team up, share food, and protect the tribe.
Because working together was a matter of life or death, human brains actually evolved to reward us for being good teammates. When you help someone else or achieve an objective as part of a group, your brain releases “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine. This means we are physically wired to feel happiest and safest when we are serving a purpose that helps more than just ourselves. Some people call this empty craving the “god hole”—a deep, natural feeling that wants a higher authority or a community to believe in.
Two Ways We Fill the Empty Space
Different people fill this need in different ways, but the objective is always the same: to find a guide for how to live.
Believing in a Higher Power: For billions of people, connecting with a deity or religion provides the ultimate Big Why. It gives clear rules for right and wrong, explains hard times, and makes people feel like they are part of a grand, cosmic plan. It turns everyday chores into something meaningful.
Believing in the Tribe: For people who aren’t religious, the “god hole” is often filled by trying to help their community, fighting for a social cause, or working hard to be respected by their peers. We care deeply about what our “tribe” thinks because their approval proves that our lives matter to the group.
Whether someone looks to religion or to society, the human brain is doing the same thing: looking for a compass to point the way.
The Problem with the “Me-First” Mindset
What happens when people don’t have a Big Why? The human mind defaults to a selfish, “me-first” attitude.
Without a bigger objective to work toward, people start focusing on tiny, unimportant problems. They argue over petty drama, worry about who gets the credit, and care only about their own comfort. In a school, a family, or a business, the absence of a clear purpose causes constant arguing and friction. People start fighting over how things are being done because they no longer care why they are doing them in the first place.
The Big Why acts like psychological gravity. It pulls our selfish habits into alignment and turns a group of separate, fragile individuals into a powerful, unified team. True maturity means looking outside of yourself, picking a worthy mission, and putting the objective ahead of your own ego.
References
*The specific term "Big Why" was formally introduced and popularized in Gary Keller’s bestselling 2003 book, The Millionaire Real Estate Agent (co-authored with Dave Jenks and Jay Papasan).
Clark, C. J. (n.d.). Tribalism is human nature. ResearchGate.
Ge, B. H., & Yang, F. (2023). Transcending the self to transcend suffering. Center for Open Science. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/sdwmg
Grinde, B. (2024). The evolution of human social behavior. Encyclopedia, 4(1), 430-443. https://doi.org/10.3390/encyclopedia4010029
Griskevicius, V., & Kenrick, D. T. (2013). Fundamental motives: How evolutionary needs influence consumer behavior. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 23(3), 372-386. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2013.03.003
Haugan, G., & Dezutter, J. (2021). Meaning-in-life: A vital salutogenic resource for health. Health Promotion in Health Care – Vital Theories and Research, 85-101. Springer International Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-63135-2_8
Leary, M. R., & Gabriel, S. (2022). The relentless pursuit of acceptance and belonging. Advances in Motivation Science, 135-178. Elsevier. https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.adms.2021.12.001
McDonald, M. M., Navarrete, C. D., & Van Vugt, M. (2012). Evolution and the psychology of intergroup conflict: the male warrior hypothesis. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 367(1589), 670-679. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2011.0301
Zhao, Y. (2025). The role of self-transcendence in adolescence: How do adolescents find the meaning of existence? SHS Web of Conferences, 222, 02018.
Click here to buy The Guidant Path trilogy and The Guidant Path: Organizational Series